i remembered when my hair was dark
as dark as the blackest of midnight tar
funny, i dont remember how i felt
funny that nothing rings a bell

i remembered when i colored it brown
as brown as the autumn leaves on the ground
funny how it changes with the season
funny how i remained the same person

yesterday my hair was colored blue
as blue as i held my feelings true
tomorrow i hope it will change
and take away all this pain

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

he said
laughter is the best medicine
she said
nothing can take away this pain
he soothed he murmured
he's filled with patience
she screamed she shouted
she felt so drained

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

silently she's here
driven by the screams she hears
strong, persuasive she bears it all
a smile, a swipe she lay to fall

the face remains eerily the same
the mind smiles its a dangerous game
the lips are hers, the voice remains
soft, unyielding not a trace of pain

similar but yet still not the same
long ago when she once came..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

sometimes it felt like hot chocolate
sipped in the coldest of madison winter
sometimes it felt like the silkiest of cotton
known, warm, safe from harm

often times it felt like control
its yours, so real that you can almost hold
but most often than mostly not
it felt cruel, sharp and scalding hot

there are no sides that it will choose
no good no bad no matter who
it can come to you in a beat of the heart
it can make you whole or tear you apart..

love, it's not a song you can sing
it's not a pair of delicate white wings
love, it's that strange little feeling
soft as a caress, hard as steel
deep as the ocean, uncertain sometimes unreal..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

trust is such a fragile little thing
fidelity has many different meanings
love oh love, if only it's a song we can sing..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

its hard to say what i'm feeling right now
nothing seems to be as they should be
nothing seems as clear as they were
and i am afraid to close my eyes

its hard to say what i meant to say
words sometime seem too cruel to let out
feelings often times get in the way
and still, i am afraid to close my eyes..

what if i see what i dont want to see?
what if i cant deny this familiar in me?
and so i will never close my eyes..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

and suddenly it stopped
it came for minutes, hours
and by seconds it stopped

that minute second i missed it
that part of me that came and passed
that part of me that i'd learned to suppress

the precious moments i've learned to cherished
through colors of emotions feelings and sights
the short bursts of momentous flights

till the next hour my precious child
sleep, now, it will be a while..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

come, it said
away from the dark
come..

why are you here?
standing still, immovable

why do you care?
you, you who were silent all these years
you, who left me broken

i stood on my own
i fixed the broken pieces on my own
i dont need you
you, who left me alone

come, it still said
come, away from the dark..
you need me now
more than the past, you need me now

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

the night is dark
and yet i see
the person who stood
waiting for me

the wind blew north
pushing me forth
come, it said
but yet i wait

what do you have for me, i asked
love for all eternity?
life worth a crowned queen?

and what do you want in return, i screamed
my soul?
my life?
my very being?

let me be
please, let me be
let me learn
who this is inside of me
let me choose
what i want to be

if you love me,
wait..
please, wait..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

which one, she asked
which way, she nudged me hard..

i dont know, i said
i honestly dont know..

winded road forked in two
both have such frightening hues

choose one, she said
which one, i asked..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

someone said "stop"
i didnt listen

something said "hold"
i pushed on through

bit by bit i felt something slipped
slow, oh achingly slow, my mind ceased to know
the reason why
the being who

stop, and finally i listened
hold, and finally i did
know me, she said
know me, she screamed

i traced the figures in my mind
with delicate fingers seeking a sign
of recognition
of something to remind
that we are one..

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd

i cry
inside my heart, though i dont know why

i scream
something need to be released but cant be seen

i sigh
at long last i do sigh

no tears
no sound
no reason why

Copyright ©2009 Dila Mohd